Freedom Isn't Free

I want to wish everyone a happy and healthy Fourth of July.  While most of you are enjoying this lovely Friday off from work, please take a moment to remember that our Freedom, our Independence Day, is not free.

Do You: Spotify

(this is neither a paid nor endorsed advertisement on behalf of Spotify.  All opinions are of my own, however goofy or convoluted they may be.)

I only recently was introduced to Spotify - a music streaming service - thanks to hosting a company party and needing to get a fun playlist set up.  My coworker populated a playlist of fun songs, and that was that.

But I started discovering it a bit further in the last month, digging further and further into its features and seeing that really, it has a lot more to offer those of us who are more of the curious type.

July Goals - and A BIG Announcement!

Holy cow!  It's July ALREADY!  How in the world did half our year whiz by us?  Its been 6 months since

Kevin and I moved into our house and we STILL have a front room filled with boxes.  So, because I feel like I'm barely accomplishing anything in my world these days, I'm going to try to physically write down my goals.  And posting them publicly for the world to see and judge me  is an even better way to keep me going.  Plus, I believe public shaming is a good motivator!

And stay tuned for a very BIG announcement regarding our family.  It's a secret we've been keeping for a few months (though a couple of you may already know it).  We're ready to share it with everyone now!

Skip Disney World: Explore Our National Parks!

I have been holding back writing for sometime now on the blog, due to a bunch of exciting and scary things happening this summer.  I am viewing this summer as my marriage's puberty of sorts.  Lots of changes - some good, some bad.  But now, I am finally ready to open up and share these experiences with my readers. 

Recently, I returned from a week long road trip with my family (hubby, kiddo, and parents) touring several of our National Parks from inside a rented RV. I normally would shy away from this kind of trip for several reasons: 1. Bugs; 2. Confined Spaces; and 3. Lack of Concierge Service.

The 5 Stages of Grief While Stuck in Traffic -or- Why I Failed As A Mom

Last week, I found myself feeling like a failure as a mom.  Why was I a total, utter failure?  Because I couldn't get my daughter to soccer practice on time.  This sounds like the most mundane reason to be a failure, but in my world, I try so hard to juggle so many responsibilities, and one ball (the one occupied by my daughter's happiness) came crashing to the floor.

When my daughter was 8 weeks old, I chose to leave the home and go back to work, and since then, I have never looked back.  Sure, I missed many milestones in her life, but I also have been able to provide many opportunities for her because of the extra income.  I also have provided her a sane mother to come home to.  I know that my mental health is not strong enough to stay home with her day in and day out.  That's just me.

I have never liked the "Stay at home" vs. "Working Mother" debate, and I will not continue that here.  Instead, I will say that each has its merits and its downfalls.  Last week, my downfall came crashing down.  I was stuck in traffic, coming from a meeting uptown which I knew I should have left earlier from, and now I was left sitting in traffic, experiencing the 5 stages of grief:

1. Denial - "No, I really will get to her school on time.  See?  The GPS says so.  And we'll have 10 minutes to spare.  I can see there is a gridlock in front of me, but its only temporary."

2.  Anger - "Why are there so many people on the road right now???  Like, who really needs to go home right now?!?  And don't they know my daughter needs to go to soccer practice?"  Yes - I admit, these words came out of my mouth.

3. Bargaining - "If they would just get over to the left, and let me pass, I'll calm down right now."  These words were said with tears welling up in my eyes.  After my GPS adjusted its arrival time to 10 minutes after soccer practice was supposed to start.

4.  Depression - "I'm the worst mom ever.  I should've skipped the meeting and just picked her up...  She's more important that my job..."  And these words were said as I realized, not only would she be very late to practice, but I would inevitably be picking her up 10 minutes after the daycare closed.  Moms in the know, know this equates to $$ paid out to the daycare.  All because I went to a meeting uptown.

5.  Acceptance - "So I can't make any of these STUPID cars move, and I can't strap a jetpack to my shoulders.  I guess I will just sit here and listen to the radio."  And that's what I did.  And I paid extra $$ when I picked up my daughter.

But you know what happened when I ran through the door of the daycare, feeling like I failed my daughter?

She came up to me and said "it's ok mom.  I know you tried!  And really, I didn't feel like going to practice today anyways."  Seriously.  My kid is awesome.  So we went home, put some Trader Joes food in the microwave, and threw some TV on while we talked about school, life, and why I had mascara stains down my cheeks.

So I guess I wasn't a failure, even though I felt like I was one while driving in the car.  I guess I'll have to work harder next time!